Dateline Tuesday 26th July 2011 Flying out...

Well, here I am, in the departure lounge of Dubai International Airport, having travelled overnight from Manchester. After a few weeks of preparation, I'm actually here but not without some frustrations en route.

A word to web designers of airline sites - do think about what you're doing and try to make it foolproof and do offer clear instructions. The first frustration was a few days ago when I was trying to book a flight from Kuala Lumpur to Penang via Malaysia Airlines - for some reason, the system didn't like my debit card details but invited me to try again. I did this a few times but with no joy and, in frustration had to ring the airline in KL on my mobile - expensive, but all I got was essentially "delete cookies, close your browser and try again". I didn't fancy waiting and clocking up more phone charges but I wish I had done because it didn't work. So, back to the infernal online queuing system and try again. This time, the guy on the line was basically saying you've got to wait about half an hour before retrying for the problem to work its way out of the system - this actually worked, so why didn't the website say that?

The second was yesterday, trying to check in online with Emirates. I had to enter in my son's phone details for next of kin - three boxes, international code, area code and phone number. Well, in common with a lot of youngsters, Simon doesn't have a landline, only a mobile which has no area code. Try as I may, the system wouldn't let me enter various permutations of his number, telling me to enter a valid number each time I failed! Phoning the UK call centre was frustrating - for the country code, I was variously recommended +44, 044, 0044. A similar palaver regarding which part of the mobile phone number to enter into the area code box. Why don't these people show some examples on their website? Or would that be too easy?

Anyway, that was then. The more recent activity was last night - I had so much to do to get ready that, around 2 or 3 am, I was panicking wondering whether I'd actually get everything done on time. It ended up with me staying up all night, but once I got going, sorting things out, it all got a bit easier.

In the morning, I took one lot of belongings to the storage unit and called in for a haircut on the way back to Glossop. Back to the house to have a shower and a shave, but this time, a shave with a difference. I'd decided a few weeks back that, after nearly 38 years, I was going to shave off my moustache and beard. It's been a trademark part of me for so long, but not without certain frustrations at times. But this is a new chapter in my life, so why not a new image too? Being one for surprises, I reckoned it would certainly be that for a certain someone in KL!

Then it was the onerous job of packing, something I loathe at the best of times, but even more so, now I was faced with flight weight restrictions. Let's just say that it was a nightmare, I ended up having to leave a load of stuff I really wanted to take with me, I mean, I'm gonna be away from home for a while! My backpack with all my computer and photographic gear was just short of 20Kg - then there was the little matter of the main suitcase itself. I even had to call in some Weightwatchers rejects to sit on the case and flatten it just to get the stuff in. Pity about the Ming vase, but hey! since people think I'm a crack-pot then they'll have to make do with me rather than the pottery!;-) I'd congratulated myself at doing such a good job of packing it until I discovered my toiletries upstairs, with not a cat in hell's chance of getting them in the case too!

Any euphoria totally evaporated when I weighed it all to find - surprise surprise, I was way over the limit! I nearly had a surprise bowel movement when I read the tariff for excess baggage! However, Emirates were offering a 20% discount if you booked your excess online, unfortunately my booking wouldn't go through, for some reason. So, in the end, I got a lift to the airport carrying, shall we say, a few more bags than I'd originally intended.

The check-in was, ermm, fun, NOT! I was told that my backpack could kill someone if it fell out. I felt tempted to claim their baggage allowance but decided it might not go down too well, so I didn’t go down that route, pleading ignorance and that, as I'd be away from home for eons, this was all vital stuff. The crunch came when they told me what the repair bill would be for the weighing equipment I'd just melted. At times like this, you realise your sense of humour is either off the scale, or the jobsworths have had a sense of humour bypass. I mean, I'd lost probably the same amount of weight in the last 18 months as I was presenting in excess baggage, surely this was a healthier option, LOL. No, I exaggerate slightly - my main bag was well within the allowance, so I was told to repack shifting some of the stuff out of the backpack into the main case. I went down that route and found, to my surprise, I was let in without any extra payment required!!!! Result! So I celebrated in Duty Free by buying a nice tripod!;-)

With all the faffing around I just about managed to get something to eat before the boarding ended, making it to the desk with about a minute to spare!

And before we knew it, 9pm was here and we were thundering down the runway with a big adventure ahead of me.