Hans across the sea

In September 1973, my late best friend, Peter Barber and I went across the sea, not to meet Hans, but to do a tour of things Dutch and Offshore. At that time, the Dutch offshore stations were at the top of their game.

Caroline had returned on-air from the “Mi Amigo” playing album material. Radio Veronica was still there - founded in 1959 by a group of radio manufacturers to boost sales of radios, the station started broadcasting regularly the following year and had over the years become a much loved part of the Dutch radio scene. This was despite the fact that the Dutch Government would not give them a licence to broadcast from land. And the “new kid” on the block, RNI (Radio Northsea International) was by this time pretty much established too, broadcasting in Dutch in the daytime and English at night.

After a couple of tough years medically, earlier this year I had angioplasty which has given me a new lease of life. It prompted me to revisit the old trip as much as was possible and do some other things too. Such as spending a few days in Belgium doing the tourist bit in Bruges and Ghent, but also taking the opportunity to take in a Popcorn party.

So I booked the ferry, got the car serviced and started mapping out rough plans of things to see and do. I suppose I'm the original “Mr Lastminute,com”, not helped by a car problem that was stubbornly avoiding diagnosis by the garage. On the day of the evening ferry crossing from Hull to Rotterdam, I'd done so much running around that I needed three showers at various times of the day, just to cleanse the sweat – that was actually rounded off by a fourth shower on board the ferry. I always shower every day but this was a new record for me.

The sailing was due from Hull at 21:00 hours with check-in an hour beforehand – I'd bombed the 102 miles across the M62, stopping only for a bite to eat at an indifferent M&S Service Station and getting to my destination with only 20 minutes to spare! Phew!

The ferry, “Pride of Rotterdam” was humongous – there's a good write up of it at Pride of Rotterdam! It's the biggest ship I've ever seen and apparently one of the largest cruise ships in the world, over 8,800 tons. Such was the size of it, you could barely detect any movement at sea.

Once on board and after my fourth shower of the day, it was a matter of exploring the joys of Satellite broadband on board, "BECAUSE I CAN";-) To accompany me, a HUGE cuppa tea – thee sort that has a handle either side – and a slab of cake. I AM on holiday after all! ;-) . Now the reception staff were less than clued up about the Wi-fi (it's little things in training that let the side down), so I wasn't given clear instructions as to where on board it was accessible. Then I had problems getting the system to accept the username/password I'd purchased. Eventually, that got sorted out with the kind help of a nice Dutch lady member of staff and I was online. She compliments me on my Dutch accent, not a trace of English, she says. Asking me how I learned my basic Dutch (my words), I tell her about listening to “Dutch By Radio” on Radio Nederland as a kid, then the offshore stations, Radio Noordzee and Radio Veronica, in the seventies. Inwardly, I chuckle as I recall the young Polish lady (who worked at my local chemist's for about 3 or 4 years until last December) telling me she'd never heard Polish spoken before with a North of England accent! How was I to know, I just speak it and don't hear it through other people's ears!

Back to the internet connection, it wasn't that fast, but it was there and usable, which was more than could be said for the passenger next to me, swearing under his breath. The session gave me the chance to make final decisions as to what I'd be doing the next day. I also did a bit of housekeeping accessing my own computer. Ain't that brill? I'm not addicted, not addicted, not addicted.

After all that, I forget about the bar closing for a night cap - it's 2am and high time for bed, especially taking into account the prospect of a 6 o'clock start the “following day”. But not so fast, it's not my day for problems with technology letting me down as the magnetic door key won't work. Must have been the bank card in my wallet screwing it up – must check my bank balance, maybe some money got transferred from the purser's staff account into mine, then again, pigs might fly!

At reception, a Dutch passenger is also having problems getting into his room – he reckons that his room-mate has got lucky and pulled, locking him out while he did the Brazilian hump in the cabin. My new found friend was starting to imagine both of us locked out all night. He was even speculating being moved to a spare room. “Do you snore?” he asks. “Ever heard a Jumbo jet taking off?” is my reply. Eventually, one of the security staff makes me a new key and even escorts me to my room to check it works fine. I leave my Dutch friend to face whatever is awaiting him in his room with security. My security man tells me “it's been one of those nights”,but reassuringly adds, “thank God, people have a sense of humour as it's the funny moments that make it worthwhile”. He's come to this job after a lifetime in the Police, hopefully this has some of benefit missing in the world outside and is missing some of the hassles the Police have to deal with routinely. I struggle to get to sleep, but, after a while do drop off , the night punctuated by some bizarre dreams.

Alan on board "MS Pride of Rotterdam", 8th September 2009